Commentary on workplace harassment and women's role in it

This commentary got provoked by this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZrSrZpX5l8

Incredible dishonest cutting & editing of Jordan Petersons Vice interview -todoke, 2018-02-24

The content of the video is an interview of Jordan Peterson conducted by VICE news. They heavily edited the original interview, and the uploader has put in commendable effort to show us exactly what they edited out, with a direct before-after comparison.

My comment sprang from an assertion made by the interviewer, which in itself ran counter to his overall argument. And yes, my ending line IS a frustration point for me.

10:10 : "You know it when you see it" >> So you agree  that it is subjective. Now what if different people happen to "know" it at different times? What if the woman dressing and/or behaving provocatively in the workplace manages to fool herself into believing she isn't doing so but her colleagues think she does? If her right to "know it when I see it" is valid, why isn't anyone else's? Conversely, what if the woman is "feeling" that her colleague is desiring her but the thought has never crossed the colleague's mind? Don't women like being seen, like other people getting attracted to them? Doesn't a significant part of their self-worth assessment come from whether they got noticed that day? Haven't women confessed inasmuch in candid times? Isn't our culture and literature replete with that longing? What if a mistaken brush by the body is interpreted by this woman, who's on the lookout for confirming cues, as a confirmation that the colleague IS trying to get at her? Speaking of which, why do women even think that circumstantial physical contact is a viable tactic for men to wriggle their way into their pants, as opposed to a formal proposal for a date? Could it be because they have been complicit in that? [Addendum: Could it be because that's what THEY have been doing, are used to and hence expect it of others?] Could it be because they have been favouring men directly making physical contact and "wriggling in" at the "right opportunity" over and above men respectfully approaching and making a formal proposal?

Addendum: Do you want a harmonious workplace that's safe for both sexes instead of only one? Then imagine a world where women get turned OFF by men who deliberately touch them and try to wriggle their way into their pants. Imagine living in a world where immoral and opportunistic behaviour hasn't consistently been rewarded by women.

And.. here's another comment that came out after finishing watching the video:
Dear Feminsts and SJWs, Jordan Peterson's core argument is : WE DON'T KNOW enough yet to be able to slam ARBITRARY RULES with disastrous real life consequences in workplaces and campuses and dictate from on top what is and isn't sexual harassment. Your position is : You are CERTAIN that each and everything you deem to be harassment and microaggressions is exactly that, depending on only YOUR subjective perspectives. And you are demanding that each and every thing you have claimed be absolutely overturned, else each and every thing you have claimed is absolutely true. You have taken an all-or-nothing extremist stance whereas rational dialogue is all about rejecting the all-or-nothing stance and getting into nuance and specifics. If you don't budge from your extremist stances, you're going to end up with nothing. Workplaces will STOP HIRING WOMEN, period. This is how you will accomplish White Sharia : an absolute division of society along gender lines.

And another:

The top-down application of ruthless laws that have the potential of destroying the lives of innocents, versus allowing society room and time to reason its way through the complex situation [and the rules stick to basics where there IS consensus]. Straight-jacketing versus evolution. That's what this culture war is about, that's what the resistance to militant feminism is about. It's not about legitimizing oppression of females as the SJWs are putting it.

Complicated behavior of women, or a symptom of a sick society?

Wanted to express something about … oh, cut the intros and let’s jump in.
Lots of talk all over the place about women being inherently crazy, proverbs about “don’t try to understand women”, about no one can tell how a woman’s mind works, etc etc.

Bullshit. If we can tell the chemical composition of the atmosphere of a distant planet just by looking at it and paying attention to detail, in this case too if you really go into the matter, analyze everything closely and pay close attention then you can begin to understand the fairer sex as well. I’m not saying anything about prediction or manipulation – My focus is to really understand someone, why they are the way they are, why they do what they do.

Irrational behavior of women is not because they're "wired this way". It's not "in their nature". Gentlemen and ladies, get this false myth out of your system.

It's just one more symptom of the sick, horrible state of our society and the way it treats its women. This includes the way its members, including women, treat each other.
As is the nature of disorders and symptoms, the receivers of irrational and torturing behavior that women are known to put people through (“emotional atyachaar”) are usually not the ones whose actions caused it. It takes a long time for the hurt to set in and disturb things, in some cases it spans entire generations. (alright, men behave badly too. But women are the mistreated ones here, as a result they exhibit this more.) So it is an inbuilt feature of this system to :
1. get women hurt by men or women,
2. then have them hurt men or women who are not at fault (and this little slice of the whole chain is what gets picked up and made an issue or mockery of in our media) and hence propogate the chain.
So if we really want to put an end to this madness, we’re going to have to put an end to ours. Men, you have to stop treating women like objects and property. A person is a person. Accept that and move on. Stop connecting your male ego with whether or not a woman is under your control.

Stop the obsession with Loyalty
Loyalty should be to a cause, not to any person. Because people can change. This applies to relationships too. Why this obsession with loyalty? From what I see, the only thing the loyalty concept does is make the guy lazy and retarded and lost most of his good traits out of a comfortable sense of security, and trap the woman with a guy whose quality drops meteorically. And then they sit and cry about “he’s no longer the loving, caring person he used to be”. In some cases this leads to seeking out extra-marital love. When that gets caught, everyone wants to blame the cheater, the traitor, the betrayer, the unfaithful. But hello, was the cheated spouse even worth being loyal to?
This even happens on the macro level – organizations and countries, once sure of full loyalty of their people, then inevitably go and do the most hideous of things with impunity because of this notion of security that loyalty gives them. Anyone who dares to question the actions of the people at the top, is then branded a “traitor”, dis-loyal to the whole institution. In families and communities, this obsession with loyalty leads to honor killings, domestic violence (nothing "domestic" about it, FYI) and a whole array of mental torture and emotional blackmail. This is my perspective : It is the same false notion of being loyal to fallible human beings that dooms relationships, organizations, whole nations.

This invites a lot of flak from people who don’t really get the difference between loyalty and commitment. So the obvious rebuke here would be “Oh, so you’ll abandon your commitment? Where is the honor, the ethics in that?”

People, there’s a HUGE difference between loyalty and commitment. Stop mixing the two. Stop justifying loyalty in the name of commitment.

Dictionary meanings:
Loyalty: Giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution

Commitment: A binding exchange of promises
Get the difference? In a commitment, both parties need to remain true to their promises. Both parties are accountable. If one fails to live up to the commitment, the other is empowered to walk away. There is accountability. Loyalty puts the whole burden on one person while making no room for accountability from the other.

Wow, loyalty Vs Commitment is a topic in itself! Will have to branch out here. (will update this line with a link when its ready)

To put it in short, a committed wife would leave an abusive or in any way unworthy husband. A loyal wife would keep suffering in silence. A committed person would identify and act proactively to remove the problems afflicting her. A loyal person would keep turning a blind eye, get afflicted by the problems and let them manifest themselves in her irrational, illogical and damaging behavior. By glorifying loyalty, we are insulting all the independent thinkers and doers out there, and paving the way for really screwed up mentalities across the board.

So, coming back to the subject of this post… MEN, if you want an end to all the crazy behavior and emotional atyachaar, we’re all going to have to start treating women like human beings, we’re going to have to put an end to OUR crazy behavior.

Update: Watch this guy's TED Talk to know precisely what is wrong with the man-box that men around the world have boxed themselves in: http://www.ted.com/speakers/tony_porter.html

This isn’t going to be easy or quick; it might take a whole generation for the damage to wear off. But let’s try to give our kids and their kids a better life. No one deserves to be subjected to this contorted, soul-destroying treatment that we today generalize by telling the women that “it’s a man’s world” and telling the men that “women are complicated”. We’re both getting hurt, let’s stop this.

Tip: To get informed about Nature Vs Nurture, Watch: The first part of the movie “Zeitgeist: Moving Forward”

Ready-made Vs Customized

It's a wonder how the best ideas come only when you're walking to the market, or defecating. Or in some cases, both.

Ladies, this one's for you. You will not like it, because of the validity of the following proverb:

The one thing that a woman hates more than a man who lies to her,
Is a man who tells her the Truth.

But you are most welcome to prove me wrong. It would benefit humanity in more ways than one ;)
This post is to do with your opinions in choosing a life partner.

Recently a friend was very excited over a match on a wedding portal, wherein she was approached by a CFO of a certain company for a match. FYI, it didn't work out eventually. Why, will be discussed further. That suddenly brought me to a possible fact that we all love to hide : With our purchasing choices, even our expectations have become ready-made. Ladies, we look for success - financial and social - in a potential life partner. He must have this-and-this, and be so-and-so. Naturally, conventional wisdom dictates this for the family's well-being. A match is made - everything's picture perfect, we're all happy.

Fast forward. Something happens. I'm seeing so many people in these picture-perfect weddings having miserable marriages. Love, trust, bonhomie, fidelity - you name it and they lack it. "Where did we go wrong?"


Hmm, well. This is going to take some time.

Why I hate hanging around with most people

Quoted from Cynical Cyanide by xero0ne.blogstpot.com :

We love criticizing others to hide our own shortcomings.
We contrive faults in them, find excuses to mock them, conceal our hypocrisy as tafri.
We feed on their misery to make ourselves feel better.

If sitting in a group and speaking foul about those not present is what having "fun" in Social circles is all about, I despise You.

 And my comment there:

AGREED!
Another bone of contention : They keep repeating the exact same things again and again!
Understandable that nobody's really listening and they're all just there to look cool, because they laugh at the same crap the next time it's said as well.

RangDe.org - an investment I'll always cherish

>>Update: My post got feattured on RangDe.org's blog! Click here to see!

A year ago, I had invested Rs.2000/- in a passionate 5-minute debit card transaction, with http://www.rangde.org website through which we can make small investments directly to help small entrepreneurs in some far-off places in India where we otherwise could not travel.

Friends and family I later talked with about this, had cast doubts on the trustworthiness and effectiveness of such setups, they poo-poohed my unwise decision and our conversation had ended there...

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I will let the screenshots below speak for themselves - and am glad I was able to help out a small time entrepreneur in Andhra Pradesh. I now have nearly all my invested money back and am re-investing part of it with a breakfast vendor in Maharashtra.