Friday, September 6, 2013

Crazy fundraising / recruitment idea for causes

DISCLAIMER : This is a crazy idea post made in jest. Look away if you don't have a dark sense of humour. I mean it! Don't quote me on this one. Treat it like onion / faking news.

Fundraising idea for social / environmental causes:
1. Set up a suicide hotline.
2. Inform the callers (who are planning suicide) about your cause, tell them how you can really use the help of people who aren't afraid of dying anymore. It'll have to be something genuine, folks. These ppl are dead serious. (pun!)
3. Get the caller to take a large personal loan from the most reckless loaning agency (there's so many now)
4. Encash and collect. Secretly and untraceably. Or just have caller buy whatever's needed and sent to wherever it's needed. Like, say, 10,000 water purification kits, solar panels setups and basic agricultural tools sent to a slum area outside a city where people evicted from a SEZ acquisition have been relocated.
5. Caller commits suicide, with some hard-hitting info shared in suicide letter that might get to go on news to a wide audience.

More : A match-making platform where those who want to commit suicide can browse through and pick various worthy causes and actions which would normally be labelled as suicidal. Examples : filing some specific RTI applications, sabotaging a certain factory that's polluting a river, going to media with some sensitive information, meeting the wife and children of some psycopathic industrialists, bankers, or in-cahoots bureaucrats and telling them what their father's been upto.

How about this : A Citizen's Kill List, with bounties on known enemies of the planet being crowdfunded or financed by some rich people who were going to commit suicide anyways...

Edit: one more...
A list (or a map-layer) of the precise lat-long co-ordinates of all polluting factories, effluent discharge points, refineries, exploitative mines... in the world, or just by country. Just in case anyone ever gets their hands on a drone / cruise missile command center. Or in case someone there flips and decides to do something.

So many things to do once you've transcended the love of living!

REMINDER: This is STILL a post shared in jest. Dark humour. Use own discretion! Publisher not responsible for Shaktimaan-imitation style inspirations.

2 comments:

Harsh said...

Ha ha ha.
I loved the RTI applications idea. Anyways file karne ke baad murder threats aayenge aur suicide ke baad phir police will act strongly assuming it was a murder. Ek teer se do shikaar (pun!)

Nikhil Sheth said...

Yep, match made in heaven, eh?
I was looking up the statistics.. with over 1 lakh people committing suicides every year in India, there's a potential army out there that can change the country for the better once and for all.

Related Posts with Thumbnails