"My relative is in the armed forces"...
..and that makes you the last person in the world who will find out about what's really going on in conflict areas. A CA or a CEO would not want his family to know who all he has to cut deals with and what anti-public crimes he's been party to. The MD of a processed food company is highly unlikely to tell his closest relatives what all chemicals they are putting in their products. His folks might pick a clue if he starts getting organic food home, but the information is usually not easily forthcoming.
Put aside the sky-high pride for sometime. Even the ca, ceo etc jobs are very honourable; you have no right to say that they are all dishonourable jobs while your uncles/dads/brothers is more honourable or more unquestionable. You probably think it so, but please put it aside for some time.
"It is difficult for a man to understand a truth if his career depends on him not understanding it". -- ever heard this proverb? It's a universal truth; so please apply it at home too.
It is seen that people privy to violations or inconvenient truths are a lot more probable to confide about them with close friends who they see as neutral, and not to their loved ones. A difference might be in sharings with the most intimate partner: wife or husband, which would happen in the wee hours with crying and sharing vulnerabilities and uncertainties, thought-rumblings to. Does your uncle like doing cry-sessions with you in the middle of the night? No? Then you're simply not "In", buddy. Just accept it. Failing that, one would reach out to their college-time buddy or so who's now far removed, no army etc connections and no close contact with rest of family and so is neutral.
But if you're not that intimate partner or old time best buddy - if your source of information is just an uncle, a father, a brother - then its safer to assume that you will never know about the down-sides or the compromise factors of the career of the person you hold as a hero. They will be obliged to share only the positive sides of their careers with you. This happens in every career; it happens even more so with students sent abroad to study at great expense. Its time we stopped making armed forces service as an exception : that too a sector where there is an added national security factor to not tell one's family the full details. If your relative is in the armed forces, then you will be the last person in the world to know anything controversial about it, the same way as a person whose relative is a GMO company rep or Coke ka ceo or whatever.
So stop using the false logic that because you have a relative in it, you will know better than others if there's something controversial about it.