This is inspired by a tweet I saw some time ago. I can't track it down now, but the message here covers more.
Given the same journey distance and time and nearly identical cars, we have two kinds of car drivers:
A. Someone who pressed the accelerator and brake a lot in the journey
B. Someone who uses them sparingly, and only when needed.
Of the two, which would you say is more proficient at using the accelerator and the brake? Or, overall, in driving the car?
Let's change tracks. Apply the lines above to emotions.
Which one would you say is of higher emotional intelligence? A or B?
Would you say that the people whom you see being more emotional more of the time are automatically more qualified when it comes to emotional intelligence?
Who do you see talking about things like emotional intelligence more often?
Ok, changing gears again now. Let's see...
Which is the better driver? The one who is seen and heard doing a whole lot of it all the time, or the one who manages things such that minimal doing is required?
Are your value systems equipped to handle the differences between the two? Are your ways of measurement and judgement designed to bias you toward one or the other?