"Most parents want their children
to be all-round performers,
because society places a premium
on a child's versatility and the
number of things s/he can do.
Thus parents provide a 'taxi-
service', shepherding their
children from one class to
another. Their child's
performance and others' approval
becomes the measuring stick for
their own self-worth. Such parents
micro-manage their children;
taking their behaviour, successes,
failures, achievements and
An average home environment is
usually tense and speed oriented,
with directions like, 'Hurry up and
do this.... We are getting late...
Tomorrow is this exam.... It is
time for that class...' Children
who don't tow the line are
labelled as 'difficult' children.
Some parents try to enforce their
authority forcefully which causes
children to rebel. They may not
rebel immediately but the seeds
of rebellion get sown which flower
Parents motivate their children to
excel by shaming, ridiculing or
inducing guilt. Love is withheld
when the child has been naughty,
disobedient, destructive or a
failure. There is unfavourable
comparison between siblings,
neighbourhood kids, or
classmates. All this builds anger
and frustration in children."
Quoted from my book on
--shared by Chitra Jha on facebook.