Friday, November 4, 2011

Distance makes the heart...

For men:

Proximity makes the heart grow fonder,
Distance makes the heart look yonder.

For women:

Distance makes the heart grow fonder,
Proximity makes her want a brother.

Yes, this post is a joke, a pot-shot, a jibe. Probably just more crap from me. Absolutely untrue. DEFINITELY not true in your case at least...

But tell that to all the women who only realized how much they miss and long for that one friend only after the poor chap has already given up, made drastic changes to his life and gone away.

Tell it to the women who desperately cling on to their long distance relationships, make themselves impervious to all other influences, stay ever faithful, only to find out much later that their beau's gotten bored of this dedicated routine and wants to move on.

And finally,tell that to all the guys whose female buddies / colleagues / classmates (who they worked with, talked with, grew to respect, appreciate, admire and gradually start to like) turned them into brothers or parked them forever in "the friend zone".

Thursday, November 3, 2011

No more dead dinosaurs, sorry!

(just read a "breaking news: petrol price hike by another 2rs/lit on TOI)
Ok enough talk and theories. Time to put the foot to the pedal.

Petrol prices are never coming back down, people. Even if we removed all the taxes and the surcharges that these email fwds complain about, there IS NOT ENOUGH PETROLEUM IN THE WORLD FOR INDIA's demand or for any other country - there were only that many dead dinosaurs in the ground and we've burned most of them off. 

(for the slow : That is correct. Petrol that powers your cars and bikes is actually extracted from the decomposed dead bodies of dinosaurs and other animals and plants that lived and died millions of years ago. In case you did not know that little yucky detail. That is why it is called a Fossil Fuel. Did you think it was coming from your oily neighbor's head??)

There were no infinite generations of dinosaurs. They died out, I'm sorry. There is no infinite petroleum. All the money in the world will not make any more of it for you. If you'd like to start now, there is a 65~100 million year waiting period. Just consider yourself lucky that the animals who died at the time were buried rather than cremated upon death. 

The age of petrol is over. Transition or suffer.

(edit: ok, for the sake of accuracy, petrol is more from dead sea creatures than dinosaurs, statistically speaking. But the dinosaur tag sends the message home. See the image below for a quick explanation)
yep... we've been running the modern world off the desecration of our ancestors' graves... and actually imagining an infinite supply of dead bodies being stored under the ground... reminds me of Draupadis' vastaharan scene in Mahabharat, only this time it's Duryodhan who's praying that the sari never runs out.

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